Steak and Guinness Pie

First things first: Chop your onions and carrots if you use any. Try not to cry too much, there's loads of them out there! Then in a large bowl mix 25gr of flour with salt and black pepper. Rinse the beef goulash and drain, then add it to the seasoned flour and have fun tossing it around until every chunk of meat is coated.

Heat some oil in a pressure cooker and fry the meat for a few minutes until browned. Place the meat back into the 'flour bowl' while you fry the onions/carrots in the same pot for a few minutes.

When everything is nicely browned (except for the carrots, naturally) tip the meat back into the pot, as well as all the other ingredients for the filling (beer, stock, worcester sauce, tomato puree, sugar).

Once you've stirred it all together and admired the brown colour, feel free to taste, then put the lid on and cook according to the instructions for you pressure pot. (For me this means heat it up until it starts to whistle, turn the heat down to low, leave it like this for about 30 minutes and then turn the heat off until the pressure subsides (the whistling stops) and it's safe to open.) Be careful!

While the stew cooks, add flour, salt and fat (whichever you choose) in a bowl and attack it with a cutlery knife or fork. Wildly mash and chop it until it starts to come together, then knead it very briefly so that you end up with a ball of pastry and place it, wrapped up in a plastic bag, into your fridge until the stew is ready.

As you open the pot, admire the colour once more, have a taste and heat it up to bubble madly until the beer/stock/sauce is reduced to a thick, shiny, dark brown coating on the meat. This probably takes another half hour/up to one hour (depending on how you define 'madly bubbling').

Once it's reduced to a very sorry state for beer, have another taste (you'll find that you won't need to season anymore AT ALL because it's massively tasty!) AND a) eat it now as a stew with yorkshire puddings and/or mash and/or peas or everything together OR b) leave to cool down and fill into a pie dish (20cm), then pre-heat your oven to 200°C. Once it's reached its temperature, roll out your dough to 3mm and cover the top of your stew. Brush with beaten egg and pierce with a fork several times to allow any steam to get out.

Bake for around 30 minutes until the crust is browned and starts to show signs of flaking. Admire your work once more as you take it out of the oven and be a proud chef while you burn your tongue as you can't wait any longer to eat it...