Close Connections: Jay Singh - I wanted to cook grandma's food myself
DJ Jay Singh travels the world, but with his grandmother Bebji's recipes, he always brings a piece of home with him.
Jay Singh – a DJ and producer known as ‘Indian Man’ – grew up in Bristol, and recalls a strong urge to always stay connected to his family and Punjabi heritage.
“My mum is Welsh and my dad’s Bristolian, and it’s important for my Indian grandparents to pass down their knowledge and roots,” he says. “Generation by generation, the culture dilutes unless you keep it alive, so I’ve always made an effort to listen to my grandparents’ wisdom and learn about Punjabi culture.” That connection has flowed through the food of one generation to the next in Jay’s home. He says, “Food, love and discipline. That’s the deal, especially with my grandma. If you’re going to eat Bebeji’s food, you listen to her rules and advice.”
When Jay was 23, he moved in with Bebeji, now 80. “I lived in her spare room while producing the first part of my new album, Welcome To Life, fusing western and eastern dance, garage and jungle music. Bebeji cooked the most amazing traditional Punjabi food, mostly vegetarian, as when she was growing up, meat was expensive and a rare treat. A regular was tarka dhal, stewed lentils with spices. It was quick, easy, made in huge amounts, and we’d eat it with fresh chapatis Bebeji made – perfectly round, light, and soaked in butter. I loved cooking, but she wouldn’t let me touch the kitchen.”
“I realised the spare room in Bebeji’s house was always ready for anyone needing it. Anyone in our family who’d gone through something had lived in that room at one point. I thought I’d been keeping an eye on her and grandad, and Bebeji had gone along with it. But by the end of four years there, I realised she’d been the one quietly nurturing and looking after me.” Jay, now 29, left to travel the world, stopping in Bali and Mexico.
“It was brilliant, but I struggled without Indian food and felt really homesick. I realised I had to learn how to make my family’s food no matter where I was.” Jay returned home after a year, ate Bebeji’s food and cried from the nostalgia. Bebeji agreed to teach him how to cook. Jay wanted to replicate the high standards he’d grown up with, but that came with challenges. “My grandma never measures anything. No grams, no teaspoons. It was based on taste alone. I wrote down Bebeji’s recipes to document our cooking lessons.”
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Whenever Jay came back to Bristol from touring and playing music festivals like Glastonbury, he went straight to Bebeji’s, the time spent cooking strengthening their bond. Now, Jay’s cooking has come on leaps and bounds. “Everyone I cook for is impressed, but Bebeji tastes my food and says, ‘Give yourself another 50 years!’ What can I say? She’s the boss.
“She and grandad rotate around our homes for evening meals and I’m so glad. Enjoying meals together is good for us all. Every Wednesday they come to my house, where I live with my dad and brother, and we cook for them.”
Sikhism is very community-driven, with everybody welcome to come to the temples to eat and sleep for free. “That sense of community speaks to me. I spend my life touring and DJing in different countries. Everywhere I go, I meet a lovely bunch of new people and cook Indian food for them. It’s an amazing way to bond across cultures. Food always transports me back to my childhood. It’s a big part of my family history and Punjabi culture. Every Sunday, I go to my local temple, cook and help out.”
This month is Vaisakhi, the most important event in the Sikh calendar, celebrating the birth of the Khalsa – a collective of committed Sikhs – on 14 April this year. Jay says, “On Vaisakhi, we get together at the temple for a special three-day service to read all the way through the holy book. The sessions include hymns, singing, non-stop food – everyone is welcome. On completion of the book, there’s a special service, food, and a ceremonial changing of the Sikh flag at the temple.
At home, the food will be an extra special variation of vegetarian food, including fresh fruit and samosas. I’ll spend time at the temple, celebrating, using what I’ve learnt in Bebeji’s kitchen to feed others. It’s a point of pride to be a part of this beautiful community.”
Try Jay's Punjabi Partha recipe.
This feature originally appeared in Good Food magazine, April 2023.
