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For the relish, soften the onion, peppers, ginger, garlic and chilli in the oil in a large saucepan. Once softened, add the mustard seeds, tomatoes, sugar and vinegar. Cover and simmer for 30 mins, then uncover and simmer for 10 mins more until soft and sticky rather than too saucy. Turn off the heat and stir in the sultanas. This relish will keep in the fridge for up to 3 days, or freeze for up to a month.
Boil a large saucepan of water. Quarter the cauliflower and cut away most of the central large stalk. Weigh 350g cauliflower for the recipe and put the rest in the fridge to use another time. Very roughly chop the cauliflower – you should end up with a mix of small florets and some finer bits. Once the water is boiling, add all the cauliflower, cover and cook for 3 mins exactly. Immediately drain, then tip everything back into the saucepan and put back over a low heat, to dry out for a few mins.
Put the flour into a large bowl with plenty of seasoning and gradually whisk in the eggs to make a smooth batter. Stir in the cheeses, lemon zest and most of the parsley, then gently stir in all of the cauliflower.
Pop your oven on low so you can keep the fritters warm while you cook in batches. Place an old sturdy oven tray (anything flimsy might buckle) or a sturdy frying pan or griddle straight onto the barbecue. Wipe with some olive oil, then spoon on some mixture to make roughly 10-12cm round fritters. Fry for 3-5 mins until golden underneath and the batter just looks set on the top, then use a fish slice to flip the fritters over and press down with the back of the slice to squash any big cauliflower bits and flatten the bottoms a bit. Cook again for 3-5 mins until golden, then transfer to a parchment-lined tray and keep warm in the oven while you cook the rest.
To serve, warm up the relish slightly, scatter the fritters with remaining parsley and add some lemon wedges.