Close Connections: Marwah El-Murad – everybody needs good neighbours
Marwah El-Murad found lifetime friendship in the busy kitchen of her shared house
They say birds of a feather flock together, and it couldn’t be truer for charity worker Marwah El-Murad. She and husband Andrew, known as Tibbs, moved in with four others during the covid-19 lockdowns, but none could have imagined the enduring strength of the bonds they’d forge.
“I feel so lucky that even though many of our plans, including our wedding, were cancelled, lockdown helped create such happy memories. We built ourselves a family and community in our little corner of south-east London,” Marwah says.
Brought together by a few twists of fate, Marwah, now 30, and Tibbs, 34, moved into a large Victorian rental in Brockley in early 2020 with friends Lauren, 32, and John (known as Eli), 27, as well as Nicole 30, and Clare, 27.
“In the first lockdown, we began sharing groceries and ran our kitchen like a family one. We took turns cooking dinner and food was the thing that helped distract us from the claustrophobia of it.
“We were having to do so much online, from working to socialising or speaking to friends and family, it felt great to leave our devices in another room and hang out together.
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“When I speak to people who had a terrible time during the lockdowns, I see how very lucky the six of us were. We didn’t suffer any loss of loved ones, had company on tap and were somehow able to make the most of the situation,” she says.
The six became firm friends while trying new and exciting things in the kitchen. “We held ‘potluck’ dinners and each brought a dish to share,” says Marwah. “I’m half-Lebanese, a quarter-Malay and a quarter-English, and I made vegan versions of the food I grew up eating: molokhia stew with fresh coriander, jute mallow [both leafy veg], lemon juice, garlic and coriander; or curry puffs and deep-fried samosas.
“Nicole is half-German, half-Brazilian and made the most incredible Brazilian carrot cake, or spaetzle – a German fresh pasta dish made from droplets of pasta dough pushed through a colander and served with a creamy mustard and mushroom sauce. It was something her grandma taught her; we all loved it.
“Tibbs cooked espinacas con garbanzos, an Andalusian chickpea and spinach stew he’d picked up while travelling in Spain.
“Clare, who is Irish, made us an elaborate Sunday roast once a month with vegan wellington made from mushrooms and all the trimmings.
“Lauren made a lot of Ottolenghi dishes. We loved her portobello mushroom that was slow-cooked with chilli flakes and garlic, and served with mashed butter beans or butternut squash gratin, cooked with curry sauce and topped with coconut flakes. Eli did the washing up!”
The friends turned their living room into a restaurant, complete with fake guests and even projected a fish tank on the wall. “We laid out a huge spread, dressed up and listened to the music of our chosen nation for theme nights,” Marwah says. “Food was a huge part of our friendship, and we loved hearing each other’s childhood memories about the dishes.”
The bonds forged in their kitchen and over shared dinners spilled over into other areas of their lives. “Our wedding was cancelled because of lockdown so the six of us held a fake one in the garden and broadcast it over Zoom for ‘guests’. Nicole made a cake; the rest cooked a lovely wedding dinner and we danced around the house.
“We married for real in October 2021, but still consider that fake one at home our proper anniversary!”
Marwah and Tibbs were able to save up enough for a deposit during the pandemic and it was a bittersweet moment moving out. “We bought a flat 20 minutes’ walk away and it felt so dramatic saying goodbye – the end of an era. But we still see everyone a few times a week.”
The group’s fun hasn’t stopped. They enjoy climbing, shows, weekends away and big country walks together. They even plan to get matching tattoos of the coordinates of their old house as a nod to that special period in their lives.
“It feels like so much time has passed since we came together, and yet, none at all. I look back at those lockdown memories with real nostalgia,” says Marwah.
“We were so lucky to have good weather, a lovely garden, nice food, and the naivety of not knowing how long the pandemic was going to rumble on for, or the devastation it would bring to many.
“When we tell future generations about the pandemic, I’ll be able to share how lucky our group was, and the really lovely memories and friendships that have come to mean the world to me.”
Make Nicole’s Brazilian carrot cake.
This story originally featured in Good Food Magazine, September 2022.
