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Dry-roast the seeds in a small pan until they start to smell fragrant. Tip into a mortar and crush with a pestle until the seeds are broken down but not powdery.
Peel, quarter and core the pineapple. Cut into rough chunks, then transfer to a food processor and pulse until cut into smaller pieces. Tip into a preserving pan or large heavy-based saucepan. Use the processor to do the same to the onions, then the peppers. Tip the vegetables into the pan along with the roasted spices, vinegar, chilli flakes and 2 tsp salt.
Bring to the boil, stirring, then cover and simmer for 10 mins. Add the sugar and dates, and return to the boil, stirring to dissolve the sugar. Simmer for a further 15-20 mins, uncovered, until the mixture is softened but still has a bit of crunch. (Take care when tasting the relish as it will be very hot.)
Meanwhile, wash your jars in hot soapy water and rinse well. Place upright in a roasting tin and put in the oven at 160C/140C fan/gas 3 for 15 mins. Boil the lids (which must be vinegar-proof) for 5 mins, then leave to dry. Remove the jars from the oven and set on a board. Fill the jars and screw on the lids. Label and store in the fridge for up to 4 weeks, or sterilise (see tip, below) and store in a cool, dry place for up to 1 year.