Joanna Blythman: Other cultures are better at eating together

In numerous cultures, ritual is accompanied by the sharing of food, and charity is joined at the hip with communal eating in many religions. Sikh temples (gurdwaras) in the UK and around the globe serve free meals cooked in the communal kitchen (langar) as a matter of routine, welcoming everyone from tourists to rough sleepers. Muslim humanitarian organisations cook up Iftar meals in difficult environments, such as refugee camps.

Last year around this time, I passed a greasy spoon café in my neighbourhood that had opened on its day off to serve a pre-Christmas hot meal to homeless citizens. It was a beautiful sight to see – a meal of dignity, safety, and companionship for people whose lives are often chaotic and frightening. I’m sure it uplifted the mental health of the people who took the bother to host it too.

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Whether it’s sweetmeats served for Diwali, the Hindu festival of lights, or a bowl of matzo ball soup at a Jewish Passover dinner, any religious or cultural ritual that centres on the sharing of food wins my respect. When conducted in an open, inclusive way, it strengthens community relations. It’s harder to hate people when you’ve looked in their eyes and they’ve passed you the rice.

Although I’ll leap at any excuse for a one-off celebratory meal, surely a truncated version of this approach could be incorporated into ordinary life? Instead of that dreaded tray of sandwiches that turns up just before lunch at office meetings, what if there was a table set next door for attendees to eat a simple, decent meal on a plate? You can bet they would get through the morning session smartly and return more agreeable and better disposed to others in the afternoon.

Some of the liveliest allotments organise food parties at the end of summer when produce is most abundant. Everyone with a patch brings a dish they’ve prepared, often a taste of diverse culinary traditions. Events of this nature help people bond and escape the stress of modern life. How sane. How civilized.

In the UK we spend so much time agonising over what to eat but perhaps Christmas should prompt us to focus more on how we eat. And that means putting the life-enhancing experience of collective eating at the very heart of our lives.