Close Connections: Paul Ackerman – Volunteering gave me new confidence
How Paul Ackerman forged pivotal friendships through a food volunteering programme
Paul, now 52, had lived a reclusive life with his mum Jennifer, but after her death in March 2021, an unexpected opportunity opened up his world in a positive way.
After learning about the benefits of volunteering through a support worker, Paul, who is hard of hearing and has a lifelong learning disability, spotted an advert for volunteers at FoodCycle, a charity providing free nutritious, healthy meals to locals. Paul says, “I was interested to find out more as I liked food, and my family were already helping me learn to cook and taking me shopping to buy ingredients.” Paul went along for a meal with his cousin Mark, remaining open-minded about the mostly plant-based foods on offer. “I tried loads of things I hadn’t tried before, like stuffed aubergine, carrot soup and spicy foods, which burned my mouth a bit. I also learned about balancing meals and eating healthy foods.”
Paul began volunteering in the kitchen where he forged new, important connections at a key turning point in his life. “My mum had been my carer and we were very close. She answered my letters and did everything for me. After she died, I missed her a lot. I find it difficult to make friends and find being around a group of men more challenging.”
When Paul met fellow volunteer chef, Mike Mortimer, 59, the pair instantly clicked.
“I really gelled with Mike, and that helped me become more confident talking to other men. It started with a joke when I said, ‘You’re not like Gordon Ramsay in the kitchen are you, because I don’t like chefs who shout at me!’”After Mike reassured Paul he wasn’t a ‘shouty chef’, the pair began prepping together.
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“Mike taught me how to hold a knife when cutting vegetables, and how to make food taste better and make it look good on the plate. Because my mind works in a visual way, I find it hard to follow a recipe, but things were very visual there. I also learned not to push myself too quickly, and developed new skills without feeling pressured.
“My support workers and family say my confidence has increased, I’m more positive – and I talk about cooking a lot! I’m very proud of being a volunteer. I walk 40 minutes each way every week to my shift and do it in any weather.
“When I used to cook at home, I’d want someone there, but now I have enough confidence to cook on my own. I recently made a tuna pasta bake without worrying I’d burn the house down!”
Paul’s cousin-in-law and main support, Allison Ward, 56, adds, “After Jennifer passed away, we had to sit with Paul in the kitchen and help him do everything. Now, he’s learned so many new skills and his confidence has soared.
“Paul can now cook healthy food for himself and has cooked meals for the family. Volunteering is his favourite part of the week, and we’re working to find Paul paid work in catering. It’s something he wouldn’t have tried if not for the positive volunteering experience and the new friends he has made, especially Mike, who has been particularly kind. Paul was very instruction-based, but volunteering helped him see that he can alter recipes and do things his way, such as adding mushrooms to his cottage pies and red peppers to a sausage casserole.”
The pair shop together and batch-cook weekly, so Paul has meals ready to defrost and eat when he’s alone at home, helping avoid the temptation to fill up on doughnuts and puddings. Paul says, “I think my mum would be really proud.”
Allison isn’t in any doubt on that point. “If Jennifer could see how much Paul has grown and developed, she would be so proud.”
This feature originally appeared in Good Food Magazine, March 2023.
