Close Connections: Emily Wood – thank you to every single one of you
At a difficult time in her life, school administrator Emily Wood found comfort and friendship in the Good Food Together online community
In August 2020, Emily Wood returned from holiday to find a devastating letter on her doorstep – she’d been made redundant. Suddenly, things felt bleak.
“It was my first job in seven years after being a stay-at-home mum to Hugo, now eight, and Martha, six. To lose it felt heartbreaking,” she says.
What followed was a perfect storm of depression, and chronic illness from Emily’s endometriosis and fibromyalgia – both painful and incurable.
“I felt low, started having panic attacks, and lost my self-esteem.” Emily, 45, also lost the drive to do the creative things she’d previously enjoyed, like cooking.
“I applied for 21 jobs, had 17 interviews and rejections while undergoing counselling. It was tough. I began wondering what I could do to help myself. I looked at all the things I was good at that didn’t make me feel worthless and realised cooking was important to me.”
More like this
Emily joined the BBC Good Food Together Facebook group. “I posted my cooking and had an instant show of appreciation. Over time, I shared my personal situation and support flooded in. Others told how they’d had a difficult year too and it made me feel less alone.”
Emily, who is pescatarian, shared her signature dish, crispy paneer, spinach & coconut curry and her online friends gave it a go, which gave Emily a lift. But it was more than just sharing recipes.
“One day, Corry Shaw, who I chatted to a lot and had become good friends with, made a loaf in the shape of my face. It was hilarious and gave me a boost. Another time, Leigh Brannon sent me a bottle of gin after a few interview knock-backs. These moments lifted me.”
Emily forged connections across the Atlantic, too, with California-based Jen Butler reaching out to ask for cooking tips.
“Jen couldn’t make proper roast potatoes, so I shared my technique, and she shared her okonomiyaki pancakes with me. The group brought me a constant flow of recipes, laughter and kindness.”
Emily took as much pleasure out of liking and commenting on posts as she did about notifications on hers. Over time, she began to feel herself once more. When down moments crept in, she turned to the group.
“I mentioned I was struggling to find a job and others said they were, too. We all appreciated the honesty. The pandemic has been hard on people in many ways, and while we’ve tried to juggle childcare, work, job hunting, finances, illness and all the stresses in-between, we’ve found a little haven in the group and each other. The group forced me to be creative and make dishes I’d never made before, from spaghetti carbonara and Yorkshire puddings to Japanese pancakes.”
Depression made it difficult for Emily to be creative but pushing aside self-doubt, the group gave her the courage to attempt new recipes.
“I tried things I might have shied away from before and posting updates gave me the accountability that I craved. My new friends pushed me out of my comfort zone when I needed it. Corry made amazing Indian banquet dinners from scratch that looked insanely good, so I started doing the same for my family. On Saturdays, we like to have family kitchen discos or dress up and feast at home while watching Strictly. We made wood-fired pizzas and have homemade curry nights. The kids had fun and so did we.”
With Emily’s painful conditions impacting her daily, husband Neil helps by prepping the ingredients so Emily can save her energy for cooking or baking.
“The struggles I have with fatigue and pain are heightened since I have a new job now. Neil works from home so he chops the chillies, onions, and opens jars or cans, then I put it together. Cooking is about family in kitchen so the children play and chat there while we get dinner ready. The Facebook group has become a loving extension to our cooking family.”
Emily hopes, pandemic allowing, there will be a meet-up this year. Meanwhile, she has a few shout-outs: “Ann Strong always tells me what an amazing mum I am. She’s very close to her daughter and a great mum herself so it’s the biggest compliment.
“Cath Terry is so wonderful, and I love her to pieces. Robert Booth cooks in his truck while working and his creativity and commitment to cooking is inspiring. Ena Tina is my girl-crush. We both like seafood, travelling, and the finer things in life.”
Emily also commends the group as a whole. “It makes me laugh, feel important, grounds me and reminds me there is love to be found in all walks of life. Thank you to every one of you who has shown me love, support, encouragement and humour. I cannot tell you how much you’ve helped me.”
Make Emily’s crispy paneer, spinach and coconut curry.
This feature originally appeared in Good Food Magazine, February 2022.
