Mulled wine madness

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Posted at 10:25AM, 14 December 2009 by Stuart Walton - Food and wine writer

One of the lingering mysteries of Christmas to me is mulled wine. It crops up in festive cookery features as reliably as tips on how to avoid dry turkey, or what to do to sprouts to get them down everybody. But just as one occasionally comes across people who shyly, shamefacedly, admit that they don't really like mince pies, I suspect there is an even larger community of nay-sayers who don't want their wine stewed up with cinnamon and cloves.

There is something profoundly unnatural about hot alcohol. Apart from Japanese sake (hardly a notable Western taste, even now), and the odd mug of Glühwein drunk after a morning's skiing in Zermatt, nobody really likes it. They just like the idea of it. If it has survived at all over the past century, it was in the form of hot toddy, a measure of whisky drowned in hot water, honey and lemon juice, taken (tellingly enough) in the depths of illness. 'I don't know whether it cures you,' people would say when recommending it, 'but it certainly makes you feel better.' It only ever made me feel even sicker.

Mulled wine may hark back to medieval times, but it persists into our own day as part of the Charles Dickens Christmas theme package. Merry wassailers at the door would be plied with it to send them on their way (whereas now you can just put a notice on the door - NO WASSAILERS), while indoors, revellers would eagerly gather around the steaming punchbowl, awaiting a ladleful of ruined wine. In Mrs Beeton's day, a version called negus was made by stewing up port with sugar, lemon, nutmeg and boiled water, for serving (I kid you not) at children's parties.

The taste of warm alcohol is disturbing, as though you're drinking it while it's still in a state of fermentation

The inescapable fact about mulled wine is that it just smells and tastes cheap. Which is why it seems unfathomable that it has become so inextricably linked to Christmas. It isn't that there's anything in it that isn't perfectly nice, although you can go off cinnamon. It's just that the taste of warm alcohol is disturbing, as though you're drinking it while it's still in a state of fermentation.

The bits and bobs of fruit knocking about in it always look a bit sad, and then there's the glutinous sweetness of it (usually from half-dissolved demerara sugar) to contend with. In eastern Europe, they shower it with black pepper or infuse it with wormwood. It just gets even more delicious!

Like adding orange juice to champagne, it's one of those things you wouldn't sensibly do if the drink itself was any good. So the implication is that mulling - it comes from an old dialect word that refers to getting things into a muddle (exactly) - is really just a brutally efficient way of disguising naff wine. Er, newsflash! It's meant to be Christmas.

If you can't quite be bothered to start simmering with cinnamon, you could buy a mulled wine pre-mix. These still need warming up, but at least won't have you rifling through the spice cupboard and the fruit bowl. Indeed, you can microwave it on HIGH by the mugful, which I'm sure is what the Cratchit family in A Christmas Carol would have done, had the technology been available.

Comments

Sue

14 December 2009, 12:12PM
Sue

It's an interesting one isn't it? Why we eat and drink what we don't like at Christmas because it's traditional. I enjoyed mulled wine after freezing in winter doing sport but that's it. I wouldn't drink it out of choice (and I don't like mince pies either!). What I don't understand is why we're afraid to admit it - surely Christmas is supposed to be a time for family and fun not rules and regulations. I've heard it so many times 'but you have to have a mince pie!'

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Frantic Flapjack

14 December 2009, 12:45PM
Frantic Flapjack

Sorry to spoil the rant but I like it and I like mince pies - Happy Christmas!

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DNA

14 December 2009, 1:08PM
DNA

I have to say that whilst I havn't tried traditional mulled wine, I did get a mug of GlÃ¼hwein a few weeks ago & it wasn't that bad, it's not exactly something I'd choose as a regular drink but I've had far worse (a coffee that had so much nutmeg in it that it turned into a dare drink with my cousin present rather than one I enjoyed). However, I can honestly say that I've never liked the Mince Pie & would certainly be my food Hell, the only mince pie I'm interested in is if the mince is made of beef, lamb, chicken or pork

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Aedara

14 December 2009, 4:25PM
Aedara

I don't like mulled wine (well I assume I don't anyway because I think wine is one of the most horrifically disgusting concoctions in the world without heating it up and adding things.) but I do like mince pies. The only Christmas food I have to question is the turkey, the most tedious dry meat in the history of the world it seems and yet we decide to eat it on this 'special' day. I'd rather just have all the other bits and leave the turkey for everyone else. When I'm cooking Christmas dinner for my own family I will make sure its Goose, or at least Duck.

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Caitlin

14 December 2009, 7:37PM
Caitlin

Aren't mulled wine and glÃ¼hwein the same thing? Certainly very similar. I like mulled wine - it's a great warmer when it's cold out and it feels very festive. If I make it myself, I use good quality ingredients and it certainly doesn't taste cheap! I like other hot alcohol drinks as well, including hot cider, and hot chocolate or coffee spiked with liqueur. I also love mince pies. Mmm. Especially with brandy cream.

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Chris Brack

15 December 2009, 8:24AM
Chris Brack

Mince pies, christmas pud and cake........ick. They are all so sickly sweet. The pud and cake never goes off either-thats a bit scary.

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DNA

15 December 2009, 2:50PM
DNA

I thought they were the same thing too, I don't have a great deal of knowledge of mulled wine so I figured that since they were calling it gluhwein & it wasn't a German market then there must be a difference, otherwise it looks a bit pretentious. Although in the blog they seem to be spoken of as different things so they could be different

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Girl Flower

15 December 2009, 3:11PM
Girl Flower

I'm with you Stuart - Mulled wine is awful! It just seems like a terrible waste of wine and all other ingredients that go into it! A normal nice glass of wine can warm a person up anyway! :o) I admit I like mince pies and the puddings and cakes. But just one and thats me done until next year. Not worth the effort of making a cake or pudding just one slice big though!

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Favourites

16 December 2009, 12:33PM
Favourites

I think gluhwein & mulled wine is a bit like shepherd's pie & cottage pie, not a lot of difference between them. I like both gluhwein & mince pies, it's so lovely and festive. If you don't like it, then just simply say, no thank you when someone offers it to you.

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Ann

17 December 2009, 8:57PM
Ann

like mulled wine, love mince tarts, christmas pud and fruit cake (but it has to be boozy with Goslings Black Seal Rum). Turkey is only dry if not cooked properly

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Cassandra Amy Rose

19 December 2009, 11:20AM
Cassandra Amy Rose

Love mince pies, love xmas pudding and cake!!

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jonnyb

21 December 2009, 6:45AM
jonnyb

How controversial!!! love mulled wine or Gluwein (though not so keen on sachets) strangely not remotely disturbed by warm alcohol fermenting or otherwise!!!

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Raquel

21 December 2009, 9:40AM
Raquel

Mulled wine is possibly my favourite alcoholic drink ever! Wouldn't life be boring if all our tastes and preferences were the same?!

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Jen

26 December 2009, 7:16AM
Jen

Use good quality wine and it will not taste awful; same with turkey, if it is dry it is overcooked or incorrectly cooked. Being an Australian, I serve mulled wine chilled - delicious. Try it next summer.

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Patrik

2 January 2010, 5:47AM
Patrik

In Sweden we call it Glogg and I make it with sugar, red wine, cardamon, cloves, all spice and black pepper. I heat up the spices with 20 ml of the wine and let it simmer for 10 minutes then I add the rest of the wine and the sugar and reheat it gently. Sometimes I use a red hot sword to heat the wine as we used to do it in the old days.

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angels Delights

2 January 2010, 10:24PM
angels Delights

Why spoil red wine with spices and sweetness

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Sarah-Emily

8 January 2010, 8:15PM
Sarah-Emily

Ooh Jen that sounds lush, I'm a mulled wine lover-can't get enough of it, pregnancy this year has meant none for me but will definately be on the chilled mulled wine this summer when I stop breast feeding! What a good idea! And lucky me hubby doesn't like it so all the more for me!

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Sara

13 January 2010, 10:16PM
Sara

Bah Humbug!!! Mulled wine is simply lovely, it is a great warming drink and represents festive cheer!!

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Pip-a-doodle

23 January 2010, 11:10AM
Pip-a-doodle

Christmas is about having what you want to eat. I don't like pastry, not to fond of the mince, so mince pies are out. I love red wine, don't mind mulled wine. So, the rest of the family have the mulled wine and I knock back a bucks fizz made with a shot of Cointreau, as dash of OJ and topped up with whatever cold bubbly I have to hand. Everybody's happy!

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Jo H

28 August 2010, 12:45PM
Jo H

I'm a big fan of mulled wine. My husband is Swedish and while living in Sweden I've learnt how to make a good mulled wine or 'glogg' as mentioned above. We live in Malta now but it's still a tradition in our house to make a large quantity and open the Christmas season by inviting our friends over for a glogg party. All our friends wait with great anticipation when Christmans arrives for an invitation. I never give my recipe away though. It's enough to say NO THANKS if you don't like it but you were a bit too harsh in my opinion.

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