Splitting the bill

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Posted at 4:23PM, 20 May 2009 by Andrea McGinniss - Editor, bbcgoodfood.com

You know the drill. You've enjoyed a meal out with a bunch of mates. The wine has flowed freely, the conversation is in full flow, and then the bill arrives. Thud. Talk about a mood killer.

Someone usually pounces on the bill. Some fumble awkwardly for their purses. Others are oblivious, letting the rest of the table sort it out. I'm a bit of a pouncer, hoping to soften the blow by taking it first. It doesn't work. We're all going to have to cough up our hard earned cash - but how do you work out who pays what?

A press release landed in my inbox during the week entitled 'Brits fall out over Bill etiquette'. At first I thought my spam filter was being its usual inefficient self, and Britney was up to her old tricks with some bloke called Bill, but a click and a scroll later I learnt that no, quibbles over bill splittage are in fact, apparently affecting 'millions of Brits'.

We're all going to have to cough up our hard earned cash - but how do you work out who pays what?

According to the study by pub restaurant chain Table Table, almost 30 per cent of people have rowed with friends or family when it comes to paying the bill. I'm not surprised, because it seems when it comes to paying bills people fall into two very distinct camps, and when the two collide, the atmosphere becomes tense indeed.

1. The split-it-evenly camp. The quick, relatively painless route which I would take almost every time. Okay, so some greedy guts you might not even really know had a starter, most of the bread and insisted on wine from the painful end of the list, but you live and learn. Next time, don't invite them. Or order extravagantly yourself.

2. The pay-for-what-you-eat-and-drink camp. The calculators come out, the awkward itemising begins, you suddenly find out your friend is tighter than Hugh Jackman's buttocks. I feel like running out the door screaming, but instead sit there squirming, willing it to be over and tossing coins at the offending bill until the counting subsides.

Of course there's always going to be people sitting at the table that earn more, drink more, eat more than others. And it's scary how a reasonably priced menu can quickly add up to something eye-wateringly expensive. I've one friend who seems to always pay twice as much as everyone else just to keep the peace. As Whitney Houston said, it's not right, but it's okay. Anything to avoid any post-dinner penny pinching.

Where do you stand on bill splitting? Do you carry a calculator or avoid confrontation at, literally, all costs?

Comments

1-20 of 27 comments

robin

20 May 2009, 6:12PM
robin

Don't hold back in what you order, split the bill and you can't lose (although tee-totals may disagree...)

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Elaine

20 May 2009, 7:12PM
Elaine

I'm not really a wine drinker, so used to get ticked off if I had to split the bill with serious boozers. But over the years I've realised that it generally evens out and would much rather split the bill than endure the tedious itemising. The winos generally don't do coffee or pud... one half of a couple evens out the other... and real friends always offer to pay a bit more if they suddenly get the urge to order a dish with shaved truffle/caviar/lobster (or all three!).

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Lushious

20 May 2009, 8:01PM
Lushious

Split the bill - I cannot stand the painful 'who didn't have rice' scenario. I agree with Elaine, it usually evens itself out in the end and if somebody is extra greedy and drinks more than anybody else, just get wise and don't invite them again!!!!

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Amy

20 May 2009, 8:05PM
Amy

Split the bill, unless you're taking me out for a lunch date!

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sheppy

20 May 2009, 8:37PM
sheppy

I vote for split bill but I feel guilty saying it if someone doesn't take a starter so I try and then compensate. Suffice to say it gets messy...

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gingagirl

21 May 2009, 5:37AM
gingagirl

I seem to be the only 'itemiser.' Usually the restuarant splits the bill into each customer anyway, you just have to figure out which one you are and it stops everyone getting angry over money stuff. But if its with close friends we usually take turns, I buy lunch one day and they'll pay for something another day. I guess it all depends on how often you go out and how well you know the people you go with.

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Vic

21 May 2009, 10:01AM
Vic

Use Tipulator or CheckPlease on the iPhone - splits the bill evenly, works out tips by percentages...and doesn't get mathematically challenged after a bottle of wine.

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Suzanne

21 May 2009, 10:30AM
Suzanne

Always split the bill! Nothing sours a good night more than people getting their mobiles out to calculate exactly how much they want to pay. If you can't take paying slightly more than expected, don't go out with a group. Or go somewhere that does a set menu for a set price, that way you should avoid any nasty surprises.

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miniminx

21 May 2009, 11:51AM
miniminx

i'm an itemiser, too.......mainly since i seem to have a hoard of friends who generally earn a lot more than me! i think it's the only fair way to do it, since not only am i at the poor end of the income scale but a 90% veggie (most of the time i'm veggie, other times i can't resist a bacon sarnie). i would love to be a bill splitter, but can't stomach the injustice!!!

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Emily

21 May 2009, 12:12PM
Emily

I also tend to chuck in more money than I owe just to try and ward off that moment when all the money's been counted up and we're still Â£30 short. That's the trouble with itemising, often people 'forget' to add tip or contribute towards the water etc... I find it works best to go out with friends who are all as greedy and irresponsible with money as me, to avoid the arguments!

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James

21 May 2009, 12:25PM
James

What a way to ruin the atmosphere - almost as bad as the smoke alarm going off. I get past this by people paying 2 weeks before they eat - that way they've got time to sort things out, and there's no quibbling/ arguments on the day. When it comes to going out myself though I'll pay one time and my friend will pay the next - getting the calculator out just kills the good time you've had. When I go on holiday - my friend pays the accomodation bills, I pay the food bills, and we do the calculating weeks after - much more relaxing.

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Babs

21 May 2009, 12:59PM
Babs

I prefer just to split the bill as well. I have been out in a ladies group that itemises everything and as long as you know them it should be all right, but if occasionally I get landed with the bill to sort it out somehow it always ends up short and then everyone has to dig in their purse but I often end up paying more because you end up feeling guilty even though you know you have paid more. Simple either split the bill, keep an eye on what you have spent and don't end up sorting the bill out.

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Hungry Jenny

21 May 2009, 7:36PM
Hungry Jenny

It depends on who I'm with - sometimes I'm quite happy to just split it equally, if it's close mates. Other times, people decide to pay for what they had, so I just round my part up to the nearest pound or whatever, rather than getting the calculator out! I agree that does tend to spoil things if people do that. When ordering though, I also tend to choose things so that it'l round up nicely or close enough to Â£20, Â£25 or whatever and just chuck that in as soon as the bill comes, before any bill-splitting debate starts! x

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sioden

22 May 2009, 8:27AM
sioden

I'm definately a bill splitter but mayny of my friends ar itemisers. What annoys me is if people want to pay for what they had but never have chaneg, and everybody ends up paying Â£20 anyways. If you don't have the change to pay Â£18.58, don't moan that that's how much your food was. If you want to pay for what you ate, bring change, and lots of it!!! I've also been known to chuck a stray Â£20 to make things even.

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Becks

22 May 2009, 5:29PM
Becks

Ugh. Have you noticed it's always the people who'd rather split the bill that end up putting more money in?! I earn next to nothing, but if I'm out for dinner I would rather spend a tenner more and have a lovely evening than sour the atmosphere arguing over whether a cappuccino costs more than a latte, and what exactly is 12.5% of a main course but no wine and two glasses of water... Suck it up people, if you don't want to spend the money, stay at home!

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C Shaw

23 May 2009, 3:23AM
C Shaw

I'm a spliter or a demander to pay the whole lot. I don't earn lots but I think that one of life's luxurys is spending time with friends eating good food. I am happy to pay more than my share and write it off as well spent on the entertainment of my mates. If I've drunk/eaten more than others I will pay extra and as I have friends that aren't prats they do the same. I never trust an itemiser...if people came round to your house for dinner would you expect them to pay for their share of the grocery bill? Just have fun and enjoy the company, money isn't the be all and end all.

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shez

25 May 2009, 6:12PM
shez

Work do's always end up with everyone itemising but we do have a modern apprentice who earns Â£80 a week and then some who earn vast sums so only seems fair! Friends & family, we tend to splitas we are usually a litlle too tipsy to care!

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Alex

25 May 2009, 9:45PM
Alex

I'm always happy to split the whole lot. Im currently staying in Canada temporarially, everywhere I have eaten here so far brings you seperate bills as a matter of course unless you ask for them to be merged, saving awkwardness all round

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Sam

26 May 2009, 3:52PM
Sam

I've always been happy to split the bill, and as mentioned above, found it usually evens out. Itemisers used to get on my nerves, and I couldn't see what the fuss was about. Until, that is, my income was dramatically reduced as a result of the recession. Now I have to budget very carefully, and it's only an option to go out if I can keep a tight lid on the costs. I am afraid to say I've turned into an itemiser by necessity although it's not in my nature.

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Andrea

27 May 2009, 1:43PM
Andrea

Ah you know times are tough when you're forced against all your best intentions to become 'an itemiser'. I understand completely!

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