How do you like your eggs?

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Posted at 12:30PM, 07 May 2009 by Stuart Walton - Food and wine writer

'How do you like your eggs in the morning?', goes the song. 'I like mine with a kiss.' Well, don't we all? But the eggs are usually a lot harder to get right.

I found myself in a B&B last week, descending, via one of those scary lifts that take about an hour to go down four floors, to the Noël Coward breakfast room. (Dear Brighton, don't ever change.) The fried breakfast I was given was a classic of the genre, in that the bacon was wonderful, the sausage acceptable and the egg an upsetting disaster .

I don't know what the technical term is for an egg done in the microwave (microwaved egg, perhaps?), but I don't see how they get to call it a 'fried' egg. It was entirely enveloped in the diaphanous veil of its white, in a rough approximation of the style the Americans call ' over easy', but that nobody in Britain understands. Somewhere within the spotless albumen lurked the lukewarm yolk, waiting to meld gorgeously into the baked bean lake that flooded half the plate.

The best way of achieving this result with a fried egg is to fry it, if I might be tiresomely pedantic

A fried egg should look properly frazzled at the edges, the white opaque rather than translucent, and the yolk, when broken, should spill into a little puddle around it. The best way of achieving this result with a fried egg is to fry it, if I might be tiresomely pedantic.

Then again, preferences in egg cookery are so defining, aren't they? When it comes to other cooking methods, I like it as underdone as is consistent with government health guidelines.

Scrambled eggs to me should be loose and pale, cooked very gently until they just about hold their shape, but are still a long way off solid. The polystyrene school of thought, in which they appear as a drily quivering mass on the toast, is a waste of good eggs. Even worse is the breakfast buffet style, in which the eggs have been cooked solid, raked over and then left to dry out in a heated tray, so what you get is lots of rubbery yellow rubble.

Similarly, an omelette should have a runny centre (what the French call baveuse ), so that when folded over on to the plate, it leaks a little unset mixture from inside and creates its own sauce. My sweetheart used to cook them so that they were as dry as a tortilla and full of spring onion in the Chinese style, a risk you take in having a Chinese sweetheart.

And as to poaching, don't get me started. Actually, do get me started. If you have one of those contraptions called an egg poacher, with little compartments to hold the eggs, throw it away now. A poached egg should be cooked by breaking it into an ordinary pan of vinegared water and leaving it for three minutes.

Baking eggs is suddenly fashionable again, for the first time since the Edwardian era. Just as soon as I've unearthed the ramekins, I'll let you know how I like my oeufs en cocotte. In the meantime, what drives you mad about the way people cook eggs?

Comments

Vic

7 May 2009, 3:32PM
Vic

Boiled. Critically, they have to be super-fresh (and I love Burford Browns for the super-yellow yolks), dropped into simmering water, then cooked for five minutes. Yum.

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Tom secrets!

7 May 2009, 11:30PM
Tom secrets!

Boiled, with a lovely soft yolk, nice grind of pepper and little soldiers!! But what about egg mayo, smooth or chunky?

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Nicola

8 May 2009, 8:30AM
Nicola

When on fieldwork in Uganda, breakfast is invariably a boiled egg. Always boiled to within an inch of it's life, and normally then let to cool so it gets that horrible grey ring around the yolk. Yuck! My preference is definitely a poached egg with a soft yolk, on top of some lightly browned toast (burnt toast can ruin the whole thing) with some tomato ketchup. Yummmm....now I'm hungry and I've only just had my porridge!

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miniminx

8 May 2009, 3:31PM
miniminx

it's all about the eggs.....the best egg i ever tasted was from the farm up the road, courtesy of one of the hens running around the front yard. absolutely gigantic (as they are in spring) and fried to absolute perfect. textbook (i actually took a photo)!

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woolfie

9 May 2009, 6:49PM
woolfie

eggs benedict are my favourite, It has to be a buttered toasted muffin with good parma ham or ham on the bone 2 poached eggs and hollandaise sauce over the top. Divine! The best i've had has been at John Burton Races B&B in Dartmouth or the Milestone hotel in Kensington London.

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Ann

10 May 2009, 9:53PM
Ann

put a little olive oil into a frying pan, add, sliced chorizo and fry to extract some of the flavoured oil, crack an egg into the pan and fry in the flavoured oil, put the two between hot toast, may not be heaven, but close.

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Ann

10 May 2009, 9:53PM
Ann

put a little olive oil into a frying pan, add, sliced chorizo and fry to extract some of the flavoured oil, crack an egg into the pan and fry in the flavoured oil, put the two between hot toast, may not be heaven, but close.

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CloClo

12 May 2009, 5:53PM
CloClo

For a boiled egg, five minutes maximum, on lightly browned (if it's burnt the dog eats it!) toast. I'm a lot more picky about my scrambled eggs. Toast perfectly golden, with lots of butter. Eggs with milk (and a teaspoon of cream if there is any). Cook gently, and do not allow it to solidify too much (it's got to be sloppy - and half uncooked!). Put in a bowl, and a bit of salt sprinkled on top. Do not put on the toast - cannot stand soggy toast - toast on plate, eggs in bowl. Perfect breakfast!

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macco999

12 May 2009, 8:10PM
macco999

you just have to have eggs boiled with soldiers because if you fry them yolk gos everywhere.

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NatashaC

13 May 2009, 3:37PM
NatashaC

Did anyone see the woman on BBC breakfast saying you shouldn't keep your eggs in the fridge and they should be stored pointy end down to make them last as long as possible. Helpful stuff. I didn't realise just how well the vinegar with poached eggs thing works until I actually tried it recently....so many years of failing on my fave way to cook eggs for nothing!

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Sal

17 May 2009, 1:15PM
Sal

She's right.. store your eggs pointy end down and somewhere coolish.. say like the utility room on the worktop. Preferably at the back where the dog can't reach! :-) Even better still, get a couple of chickens for the back garden and have REALLY fresh eggs! Don't need a large garden, just need to make the chicken run very secure from foxy loxy or other animals.

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threelittlepigspork

22 May 2009, 8:35PM
threelittlepigspork

I have to agree, it's definitely all about the quality of the egg. Proper free range chickens with access to grass should produce a very tasty egg with a bright orange yolk. Beware producers who feed dyes to their chickens to achieve this effect. A fresh egg, when cracked into the pan should 'stand up'- not run all over. Try farm shops, farmers markets or direct sales from the farm to find the perfect egg.

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Louise Kearney

25 May 2009, 7:32PM
Louise Kearney

my guilty pleasure is a fried egg toasted sandwich with brown sauce oozing everywhere and mixing with the yolky goodness!!!

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ka8t

12 August 2009, 11:18AM
ka8t

got to be poached on a slice of buttered wholegrain bread yum yum !!

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maxine mclean

24 February 2010, 9:58AM
maxine mclean

personally i feel there is nothing attractive about an egg, they are smelly and tastless.....good for baking with and thats about it....

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