Eat, drink and be merry

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Posted at 12:02PM, 16 December 2008 by Stuart Walton - Food and wine writer

Pardon me talking with my mouth full (these Co-op mince pies are rather delish), but it's that time of year. The Grande Bouffe is upon us, when we'll carelessly stuff ourselves from morn till night, not knowing or caring how it will end.

There are usually doctors on hand about now to warn us what the festive calorie intake tots up to. A survey carried out in 2006 by Ocean Spray cranberries (and who asked them?) found that average Christmas Day consumption amounts to around 5500 calories. 5500? That's not even trying.

I notice that the alcohol listed stretches no further than a glass of fizz, a tot of Bailey's, a noggin of sherry (of all the cute things) and a couple of glasses of white wine. That would be a drought in our house. If I'm not cramming the cocktail shaker with ice by noon, it means I forgot to come home last night.

To burn off all those calories, we are warned by the doctor, we'd have to run a whole marathon - TWICE. Guess what though? We're not going to. What you gonna do about it? It's Christmas! The survey went on to find that two-thirds of respondents confessed to doing no exercise on Christmas Day. That's because it's Christmas! What part of this don't the cranberries understand?

We all begin December by advising ourselves to cut back, rein things in a bit, not go mad this year. We are in the grip, in case you hadn't noticed, of an economic downturn , so there's all the more reason to draw in our horns, and keep ourselves awake at night imagining January's credit card bills.

The whole point of a midwinter festival is that, once upon a time, every winter marked an economic downturn

As the doctors tut, and the alcohol charities nag, though, we should remember that the whole point of a midwinter festival - appropriated by, but long predating, the Christian calendar - is that, once upon a time, every winter marked an economic downturn. Food was scarce, the nights were icy, the mornings were dark and cheerless. Bringing evergreen branches indoors and decorating them with light was an act of spirit-warming defiance of Jack Frost, and a great leap forward in the imagination to the distant spring.

A big feast was an indispensable part of the revelry. It centred on the fattened farmbird, accompanied by what foods had been preserved from the summer and autumn, and on sharing what you had with those who had no farmbirds to fatten.

We know Christmas has been wrecked by high street stores playing Paul McCartney, rapacious profiteering, drunken Santas in their theme park grottos, and hours of crap on the telly. Which is why the feasting and tippling is the last reminder of a Christmas that we made for ourselves. No one's saying we could or should eat like this all year, but just for once, health police, would you mind butting out and leaving us to it?

Meanwhile, if it's your thing, have yourselves a merry little Christmas. And if you're among the one-third of respondents who actually do engage in exercise on Christmas Day, that's just scary.

Comments

Becks

17 December 2008, 3:02PM
Becks

I completely agree. To celebrate the birth of the baby Jesus this year, I shall be consuming 5500 calories in sloe gin alone. Merry Christmas to you too!

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Caroline

17 December 2008, 4:33PM
Caroline

Absolutely, if you can't indulge yourself once in a while then what's the point? But I have to disagree about exercise being a scary pastime, I do like a stroll after my Christmas lunch and have been know to go for a run first thing if the sun's shining. I like it, so I'm not going to apologise!

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Emily

17 December 2008, 5:48PM
Emily

I've sometimes been persuaded to go for a healthy walk on Boxing Day, but never on Christmas Day itself. It's the one day of the year when you can lie on the sofa and stuff your face and not feel guilty about it!

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rozmorgan

18 December 2008, 11:23AM
rozmorgan

my Christmas day exercise shall be walking the dog while everything cooks. Nothing better than coming home to lovely, foodie smells and a glass of something warming and alcoholic.

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Nicola Hill

20 December 2008, 4:21PM
Nicola Hill

Does anyone have a plain old recipe for GingerBread Men?? i have searched but can only find a Ginger House!! i have looked in all my books and there are lots of variations but i just man to make the good old fashioned type!

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Becks

23 December 2008, 10:33PM
Becks

Use the gingerbread house recipe and just roll it out flat to cut the shapes out, then bake them for about 12-15 mins til they're caramel brown. The result should be exactly the same. Alternatively, try the orange and ginger stained glass window biscuit dough.

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