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Posted at 9:28AM, 27 December 2007 by Gregg Wallace - TV presenter, greengrocer

I'm guessing more people eat out at Christmas than at any other time - it's harder to get a table and my veg sales from the farm into London restaurants increase alarmingly. New Year's Eve's no better, menus become shorter, tables harder to find and taxis impossible.

Now I realise this greengrocer is in danger of turning into a Scrooge, later to be visited by the 'Ghost of Trimmed Brussels Past' but...

Festive season or not, there really is no excuse for pretentious menus. I don't need to know every cooking process that has gone into making the dish. Turkey with sprouts and roast potatoes should not read, 'New world fowl, plucked, seasoned and roasted. Served carved with baby brassicas lightly steamed and South American tubers, peeled, roughed and basted in the fat of geese'. This sort of stuff is silly, and so is the restaurant.

I'm particularly wary of the words 'fresh', 'homemade' and 'twist'. 'Fresh' is the dodgiest one, are they implying other items are anything but? Or, could it be that other items come from tins?

What about 'homemade'? Again, where has the rest of the menu come from then? A factory near Warrington?

And most worrying off all, the 'twist'! What is wrong with a classic dish, that it needs a twist? Who is this gastronomic wizard who thinks he can reinvent the wheel? The reason they are classics is they have been around a long while. If they have stood the test of time it means many people enjoy them AS THEY ARE. Anyone sticking peanut butter in a Caesar Salad ought to be shot. The only twist in a kitchen should be Chubby Checker on the radio.

And finally - the laminated menu! Good kitchens change their menus regularly, leaving no time for lamination. Maybe I'm biased but if a supplier tells a restaurant about particularly fine seasonal produce, they should take advantage of it and change the menu. A laminated menu smacks of permanency... no skilful cooks need apply. And don't get me started on Children's Menu...

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  • Binder photo James
    27 December 2007, 1:08PM

    James

    Open QuoteI agree about the words 'fresh' - everything should be - and 'twist' - all in favour of the classics - a well made classic is worth ten of a new twist that doesn't work. I only use the word 'homemade' when something is that most others - restaurants, pubs etc don't bother with e.g. homemade bread. Also at these times if you're overbooked, a shortened menu means you can serve customers faster, and their food will be hotter, and that keeps everyone happy. www.thecotswoldfoodyear.com The only reason for a shortened menu at times like Christmas and New Year is supply of ingredients - if you haven't ordered it well in advance there's no guarantee you're going to get it, and if you forget something on the day, there's nowhere to go and get it.

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  • Binder photo dave williams
    31 December 2007, 6:09PM

    dave williams

    Open QuoteAgree in general but not sure I agree about "Home-made". A lot of pubs put on food at a lunchtime and in many cases it may well be factory made whether that be a good old Pukka steak and kidney pie or a Birds-Eye breaded fish portion. That's fine to my mind. Quite often the source of the ingredient is secondary to other considerations. If you're on a one hour lunch break for example then speed of service and properly cooked food is probably more important than whether the food is home-made or not. The other side of this particular coin of course is when you see "home-made" in the middle of such a menu then you expect something slightly better, certainly fresher and in my experience buying a "home-made" pie/quiche/soup/bread etc in a pub rarely disappoints.

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  • Binder photo Gregg
    3 February, 2:58PM

    Gregg

    Open QuoteTake your point Dave.

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  • Binder photo kindregards
    15 February, 10:37PM

    kindregards

    Open QuoteI cringe when I look at pub's menu and realise that what has beeb placed infront of me, has most probably been made by machines in a factory in Warrington. Shortened menu's around Christmas and New Year- fair enough it's a stressful time as it is and it seems this country shuts down. However lack of ingredients... nature supplys with ingredients all year round Christmas dinner (before the turkey... not my fave) goose, hams etc is a good example. We plan for the game season, the first summer fruits, plan for winter.

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  • Binder photo joe2091
    24 June, 6:41PM

    joe2091

    Open QuoteFresh should be fresh. When it says fresh on a menu anywhere again it should be fresh. Also seasonal food is one of the things that I don't understand in this country because us Brits don't tend to eat seasonal food. Insist on seasonal food.

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